Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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