Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
