i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
