Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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