can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
