I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize