Someone shit on the floor
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
