nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
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Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
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I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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