We won't sleep together?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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