I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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