the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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