So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
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He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
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The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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