lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
