You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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