He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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