You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
