dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
