I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
