We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize