yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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