Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
