Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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