It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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