do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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