Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
