where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
