Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
