Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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