SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
