Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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