I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is Oprah even human
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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