I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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