the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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