i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
