I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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