someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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