allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize