Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
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We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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