she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize