hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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