I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
