he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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