So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
