I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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