just come out here and I will go home with you...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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