i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
