White coat. Heels.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
