hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize