U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
