I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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