She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
