I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
