Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize