When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
