sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
