just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
