sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She's the barista slut.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
